Do you hold a grudge if someone doesn’t wish you on Facebook?

It was my husband’s birthday yesterday.

I didn’t wish him on Facebook. That was a shock to a few people.

‘Çhantal, why didn’t you wish Marcel on Facebook?”

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It seems a little odd to me to wish my husband, with whom I share a house with, and to whom I wished in person, to congratulate him on Facebook. (We were too busy enjoying time together on his birthday)

My husband has Facebook, but he doesn’t go on it often. He checks maybe twice a month his Facebook, if at all.

So, why would I wish him a Happy birthday on Facebook?

The answer I got to was this:
1) To show off my love for my husband to the world.
2) To wish ‘him’ but actually, show people on Facebook.
3) Perhaps, since we live far from our family it’s nice for friends and family to see us and keep up to date with our life on Facebook.

Fingers crossed it’s the latter.

For the past 3 years, I’ve felt the burden to wish my loved ones a happy birthday on Facebook, even though I wished them in real life or telephoned them. Have you felt like that?

This year, I decided to not wish anyone a happy birthday on Facebook. If I’m far away, expect a call, or a message, but not a Facebook post. If I’m present I’ll wish you in person.

On my birthday, it’s nice to receive Facebook posts, so I understand that want of a Facebook post, but I do appreciate a phone call/ TEXT more. (Since I’m far away from friends and family)

But I won’t feel offended if you don’t wish me on Facebook.

What has happened? We are now in a generation were people keep grudges if you don’t wish them on facebook. ”I don’t wish you, because you didn’t wish me” What’s the point of the wish then anyway?

The only reason most people remember your birthday is that Facebook reminds them.

The birthdays of the following people are engraved in my head :
My parents & Parents-in-law
Brother, sister
Two best friends Raeesa and Yentl
Some other friends and family
They receive a phone call or a visit on their birthday. because I truly appreciate them.

For our other family members, it’s marked down on our calendar.

Facebook is a reminder of people’s birthday’s I have no intention of remembering, and just wish them a ”Happy birthday” wall post (If on that day I’m on Facebook.)

If you happen to miss my birthday, it’s on 11 September, hard to forget since the twin towers and everything, but don’t worry I don’t hold a grudge! đŸ™‚

What’re your thoughts on birthday posts?

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Self love & depression

When I think about loving  and accepting myself I think about vanity. Like ‘Okay, I love my body, I love my face, I love my hair’ or whatever I might not be liking and then conditioning myself to like that particular part.

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With a world full of Photoshop and filters, self love has become even more sought after. And it makes sense. You see all of these images of unattainable beauty and you feel inadequate about your own.

There’s a quote that says ‘The presence of another human’s beauty is not the absence of your own.’ (…Or something like that)

I like it, but do we as a society truly believe it?

Today’s post is not about outer acceptance, even though that is also important. I’ve made the journey to accepting most of myself and I’m quite comfortable. Here and there I still struggle with my body, but it gets better.

However, I had this thought that loving myself is much more than standing in front of a mirror, trying to find myself in the face that stares back at me.

The idea of loving yourself has been very dear to me. And so today’s blog post is inspired by Court‘s video. You can check it out here.

In the video she mentions 5 signs that you don’t love yourself. I was stuck on nr3.

Basically she explains how loving yourself is also eating well, drinking enough water and sleeping.

And then I knew I had to write this post, to get it of my chest and to share with you. Because that’s what I do best.

I’ll be speaking more on the side of depression as I’m a person with bipolar and depression is no stranger to me. I hope this helps someone.

Here we go!

I’ve come to understand that loving yourself is taking care of hygiene.

This is something not everyone speaks about, but if you’d ever had depression, then you know hygiene is one of the first things to go.

Take a shower everyday and if not everyday, then every day. it’s difficult I know. Some people reading this might even think ‘Eew disgusting!’ But I’m not writing this for those people. I’m writing this for you. I know what it feels like.

But also I know what warm water over my body feels like. It’s like a hug from nature to you. Massage your neck with the water. wash your hair. massage your scalp. Put clean clothes on. Change your bedding.

Loving yourself is also eating well…Or sometimes just eating. Even if it’s Mc Donalds, at least getting that food in your mouth and giving your stomach cardboard to chew on mimics the feeling of being fed. Not the healthiest choice, but hey.

But to actually love yourself, feeding your body the proper food it needs will make you feel better. But you know that already. People with depression know that probably better than most people. The problem however is to get out of bed, go to the stores and get the food. Then come home and cook it. Day after day, breakfast, snacks, dinner etc. Sometimes you don’t have money for healthy food or the stove don’t work or your life don’t work or you don’t work.

And so fast food seems like an option. I know the feeling. But try. And tomorrow is another day.

Loving yourself is drinking enough water. Enough said.

Loving yourself is exercising. Such an easy sentence to write, so difficult to do when one is depressed. Here I am trying to loose the Mc Donald’s pounds I’ve been gaining. It was raining and my Marcel and myself was in bed, nicely tucked away. But I got out of bed and died a thousand times while running. This is the part where I say that it made me feel better. It really didn’t. Running makes me feel awful. But knowing that I ran makes me feel good. And after a while, I feel the health benefits.

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I think as primitive humans we didn’t have cars, we had donkeys etc. We moved around more. Now we have all the luxury as a necessity of some sort. That’s what causes the problems. Back then people worked on farms, walked for miles and was more active then the average person today. They had fresh food, real food. Period.

But they also died of things we today can easily avoid because of the advanced medical field . (However, I think sometimes it would be wise to use more herbs etc in our medication, but that’s just me)

And finally, loving yourself is mediating. Or becoming still. It gives your mind the chance to reset and disconnect with the world. Which is necessary , the world is overwhelming at times.

Facebook, IG, twitter, snapchat etc is great, but leaving it for one hour or even 15min to focus on yourself is needed. You won’t miss much anyway. You can always go back and everything will still be on social media. Like this blog post, like your aunt who posted a picture of her new baby, like that cute boy who sent you an inbox.

First love yourself, take care of your mind then go back into the world and little by little sunshine will appear.

It’s the little things in life that makes big differences.