Do you hold a grudge if someone doesn’t wish you on Facebook?

It was my husband’s birthday yesterday.

I didn’t wish him on Facebook. That was a shock to a few people.

‘Çhantal, why didn’t you wish Marcel on Facebook?”

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It seems a little odd to me to wish my husband, with whom I share a house with, and to whom I wished in person, to congratulate him on Facebook. (We were too busy enjoying time together on his birthday)

My husband has Facebook, but he doesn’t go on it often. He checks maybe twice a month his Facebook, if at all.

So, why would I wish him a Happy birthday on Facebook?

The answer I got to was this:
1) To show off my love for my husband to the world.
2) To wish ‘him’ but actually, show people on Facebook.
3) Perhaps, since we live far from our family it’s nice for friends and family to see us and keep up to date with our life on Facebook.

Fingers crossed it’s the latter.

For the past 3 years, I’ve felt the burden to wish my loved ones a happy birthday on Facebook, even though I wished them in real life or telephoned them. Have you felt like that?

This year, I decided to not wish anyone a happy birthday on Facebook. If I’m far away, expect a call, or a message, but not a Facebook post. If I’m present I’ll wish you in person.

On my birthday, it’s nice to receive Facebook posts, so I understand that want of a Facebook post, but I do appreciate a phone call/ TEXT more. (Since I’m far away from friends and family)

But I won’t feel offended if you don’t wish me on Facebook.

What has happened? We are now in a generation were people keep grudges if you don’t wish them on facebook. ”I don’t wish you, because you didn’t wish me” What’s the point of the wish then anyway?

The only reason most people remember your birthday is that Facebook reminds them.

The birthdays of the following people are engraved in my head :
My parents & Parents-in-law
Brother, sister
Two best friends Raeesa and Yentl
Some other friends and family
They receive a phone call or a visit on their birthday. because I truly appreciate them.

For our other family members, it’s marked down on our calendar.

Facebook is a reminder of people’s birthday’s I have no intention of remembering, and just wish them a ”Happy birthday” wall post (If on that day I’m on Facebook.)

If you happen to miss my birthday, it’s on 11 September, hard to forget since the twin towers and everything, but don’t worry I don’t hold a grudge! 🙂

What’re your thoughts on birthday posts?

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Lies we tell on our resumes

As motivation on my resume, I always include ‘I work hard and I persist.’

I often times ask myself, do I really?

In my mind, I imagine someone who works hard and persist as a world-class athlete. A Caster Semenya.

Or someone that climbs Mount Everest.

They work hard. Often many people see it and praise them for it. They have something to admire.

What do I have to admire?

I know I work hard and persists. But when I’m asked to write about it, I feel like I’m lying on my resume.

My subconscious tells me: You finished school, you wrote 4 books, you are enough. But then I remind my subconscious of all my failures. because sometimes we see so much failure that the small success doesn’t take much space up in our brain. We compare our lows to other peoples highlights.

Tonight I got the answer. I agree that I’m enough.

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Working hard and persisting is also for us ‘normal’ people. With everyday life obstacles, persisting in quiet times when no one sees. No news broadcast of our heroic day. No Mount Everest picture on Facebook.

Working hard and persisting can occurs in small things.

For me, one of the times, it occurred when I applied to university. As a South African student, applying to a Dutch university, took effort.

Acquiring all the documents, scanning it, uploading it, waiting for the reply.

It seems easy enough. No hard work or persistence. Not quite right. It’s been 10years since I left school, so it’s obvious that some things have changed, and some documents I have lost.

I emailed the government, the education system, everyone with an email address. I’ve had telephone calls and ‘please wait’ repeated to me a dozen times. Just to be re-directed to a new number.

‘Good day, I’m inquiring if it’s possible to get these documents after 10 years?’

‘Yes, but it takes 8weeks and you have to donate a liver and a heart in order to get it.

The universe came through and I had all the necessary documents authorized by the proper authorities.

Time to scan.

My scanner broke, I was broke. The deadline is getting closer. Finally, I got my salary and went to scan the documents.

Time to upload.

My wifi always works. But on the day I need it the most, it failed me. Murphey’s law.

Not a problem, my friend has wifi. I get there and my computer decided it doesn’t want to charge.

I end up using my friend’s computer. My husband, that’s in The Netherlands, uploaded half of the documents that I’ve sent to him via Whatsapp because my wifi on the phone didn’t want to work.

All of this seems like it should’ve taken a day, but I’ve learned in life, things that are supposed to take a few minutes, can end up taking a month.

Last week a friend of mine asked me to help her with her resume.

I said: ‘Yes there’s an app for that. It takes about 5 minutes’.

It took me three hours.

The app kept closing every time before I was almost done. I started over 6 times. Then switch over to typing it on the laptop. Of course, the laptop went off and didn’t want to start again.

At this point, you probably wondering if my laptop has issues. It doesn’t. It works perfectly well when I watch a random youtube video, but the moment I need it to work, it acts up.

I managed to get the laptop on and retyped the resume. My friend was getting impatient.

“Chantal, you said it will take 5 minutes. I have to be back before my kids come back from school.’

I could feel the tension in the room.

…And then it was done! Just to send it to her email. I’ve sent it 3 times and she didn’t receive it.

At the time I felt like a failure. My cheeks and ears were red. What was happening?

She let me know the following day she received it.

Thinking back, I consider it a success. I worked hard on it and persisted.

These are small occurrences in my daily life. I know I’m not a suffering refugee.

I can tell you about the time I applied for my residency permit for The Netherlands, but I think you know how it went.

Bottom line: In our everyday life we work hard and persist, that failed fries that was supposed to be crispy, the failed Pinterest DIY.

But you make food again and try Pinterest diy’s again.

So, the next time you write a motivational letter or update your resume, feel free to write ‘I work hard and persists.’

When they ask you in the interview why you consider yourself a person that works hard and persists, mention a day in your life you thought you’d never live through, and there you are sitting in front of them.

Sometimes surviving a day, shows you work hard. Continuing doing it all over the next day, shows you persist.

PS: Guess what happened when I tried to upload this post up the first 6 times 😉

But if you’re reading this, it means uploading the blog post was a success!

 

 

Are fashion bloggers shallow?

A friend of mine inbox me this morning to borrow some money. I noticed that it was the second one in this week asking me for money. This is unusual for me. Not because all my friends are super rich, just that I don’t have any real friends apart from two people (Not the people who asked for money)

That being said, I have no objection to helping people out, as I myself have been many times in a place of needing. And kind souls have helped me out.

So, why this post about whether or not fashion bloggers are shallow?

Well when I explained to the person that I cannot help her at the moment, because the sum was huge, she told me ‘Yeah, you living the life. I see your pictures on Facebook. Every week a new outfit but now you don’t have money for me. All you care about is clothes, you are so shallow’

I recognized the emotional manipulation. However, the answer didn’t upset me much, just the idea that fashion bloggers can sometimes come off as shallow and all we care about is shoes, clothes and the shade of red lipstick we wear on our lips.

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With any blog, you choose a theme for your blog. Lifestyle, writing, spiritual fashion, a little of everything’ then predominately that blog will be about those things.

If someone has a Spiritual blog, no one says ‘You are so shallow’.  They think this person is super spiritual (however I believe all beings are spiritual, we just live in our physical bodies now) 

But in their daily lives they might like fashion, cars or gourmet food. They just happen to have a blog specifically about spirituality.

I'm not what you think I am.You are what you think I am

Source: I made this but used the image of DG

So, fashion bloggers, just like any other bloggers, blog about what they are passionate about.

I follow everyone that follows me, and I look through the blog posts daily and I smile. Fashion bloggers gives me what’s new in the fashion world, inspire my personal style and give bad ass reviews about things I care about.

The other blogs I follow give me insight into food, writing, beauty, mental health, poems, love,life,adventures, farms and a whole lot more. I read widely, and it is lovely to see all the creativity and thoughts. It inspires me.

I don’t think fashion bloggers are shallow. I don’t think I’m shallow.

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Source: Lupytha Hermin