It’s in the little things

Sometimes when you are looking forward to something it’s easier to only focus on that future moment that the present loose its value.

In my case, I’m looking forward to seeing my husband. And with this ‘holiday’ here, all I can think about is when it’s over so that I can go back to my husband.

I’m guilty of sometimes sleeping the whole day and the entire night just to pass by time.

And when I wake up there’s still so many days left.

Tonight I got into bed and it’s very warm here. I put on the fan and a cool breeze drifted over my body. It felt heavenly. I marinated in that feeling.

Then my cat Thomas jumped on the bed and joined me under the cool breeze. He fell asleep purr purring. I felt less alone ❤

My body became really relaxed and it felt good breathing. Weird but true. Deep breaths.

Between breathing and enjoying the moment, I realised this moment is all I have. A day is made up of little moments.

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Twenties life lessons

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 I’ve been staying in a B&B (Bed and breakfast) for over a month now in South Africa. As you know, I’m awaiting my mvv to go back to The Netherlands.
 I miss my husband terribly, but what’s to do right? What’s one month or 2 months without each other compared to our lifetime ahead? (When I receive my mvv)
 The place that I’m staying is comfortable, and so I like it. The lady is very affectionate and all the pleasant words you can imagine. She’s become some distant mother to me, just how I like my people-distant but there.
The place that I’m staying is comfortable, and so I like it. The lady is very affectionate and all the pleasant words you can imagine. She’s become some distant mother to me, just how I like my people-distant but there.
 So today I went out to town, and when I came back, she told me she went inside my room to close the windows because the wind is impregnable.
 A horror came over me.
 My room is a mess. And what I mean by a mess it’s something like a tornado, and Lady Gaga had a baby.
 I look on one of the beds; I left my lace skirt that I wore yesterday on top of the pile of blankets. I think I see the cord of my headphones in there somewhere.
 On the other side of the room, I see an empty plate, my camera, and deodorant all in one place. Sigh.
 How embarrassing.
 I said to myself  ‘oh, well.’
 I poured me some Aloe vera juice and got into my bed.
But what’s this feeling inside me?
 Some burning sadness?
 But why?
 Ah, I see. My room is decent every day and today out of all the days she had to see the chamber.
 I’m a Virgo, and we tend to associate our work or living space with our being. Which is ridiculous.
 I’m literally sad because the impression of my room gave a negative impression of me as a human being.
 Why do I have such a big objection to that? Why can’t I just be a ‘piece of ish?’ I think it’s the way I grew up and the expectations that were set and sometimes met with disappointment.
 Also,
 After internal searching, I believe that it causes in today’s world we hide things with filters and only post the best part of ourselves on social media. So when people see the other part of you- the less perfect if I may, then it leaves us feeling some way.
 It reminds me of say whenever you go out; you look quite decent. You comb your hair, brush your teeth, etc. Now you are acceptable by social standards.But what if one day, someone comes to visit unexpectedly. Say for instance a crush of yours and sees you; bad breath, dirty clothes, one shock has a whole in it, etc.
 No Instagram filters.
 I’ll leave you with that visual.
 Today reminds me of this quote ‘Many of us will spend our entire lives trying to slog through the shame swampland to get to a place where we can give us permission to both be imperfect and to believe we are enough.’ -Brene Brown
 I give myself permission to be imperfect in much more ways than my stupid room.
 I swear my mid-twenties is for learning to accept I’m not an Instagram version of myself. 😉

Plastic surgery, Photoshop or makeup?

My friend asked me ‘Gun to my head, what would I choose? Plastic surgery or being photoshopped?

I had to put my drink down for that. Quite intriguing

I told her ‘I’ll pull my gun out too.’

‘No man Chantal, just play along.’

‘Oraaait, oraait.’

Lemme see. If I did plastic surgery, what would I get? More lips, bigger boobs? Nah. Not convincing enough. Maybe body sculpting?

‘What’s that’ she asked.

‘ I think it’s what it says. The surgeon sculpts your body to what you want.’

‘Woah, you went from not wanting to do anything to doing your whole body, that escalated quickly.’

She was laughing, and I thought to myself ‘My gosh she is a beautiful creature. With that freckles, the lil afro and those piercing eyes.’

‘What would you get if you had plastic surgery? I ask her.

She said ‘I’ll get my nose done and my teeth. Oh and also my arms.’

I nodded then said;

‘Wait, I’ll get my hair done. Does that count? Like putting in hair in my head, but like it’s from the root. Not like extensions where it comes out again.

‘It’s called hair transplant. They normally do it for men that are going bald. How long would you get it? She said

‘The length that my hair is now’I said

Then why get the hair transplant at all? She asked me.

Well, I didn’t ask you why you want to get plastic surgery on your arms.

We both laughed.

Okay, now if I had to choose Photoshop. What will I want to be photoshopped?

Well, on my body in a bikini. Bang pow pow!

Angela just touched her hair. You cannot do your whole body. We need to put a budget to this game. From now on the photoshop gods gives us 1000euros and you can change two things in photoshop.

‘I’ll make my boobs a bit smaller. Wait no, I want to do that with the plastic surgeon. Cause that will last right and Photoshop is just on a picture?

Why would you make your boobs smaller? She asked.

Well, when you look at my boobs it can cause some envy like ‘wow, look at those.’ But the reality is, back pain, boob sweat extreme, having to choose what outfit your wear carefully because small boobed women can wear a tank top and look fine but let me put it on then it looks overly sexualized.

‘It’s no big deal’ my friend said.

‘Nah trust me. If you are in my shoes, you’ll understand. I’m not saying I’ll make my DD go to A but maybe a C?

The conversation went on in another direction of how women are being a portraited in the media, and we never finished the gun to my head game.

But that conversation stayed with me.

If in actual fact I can have all the surgery I want, would I get it? I think perhaps not right now. Cause right now I’m happy and fine. I’ve done a lot of inner work and loving myself things for 2years. I accept myself.

But in the future? Who knows? Like when I have children and after that? Perhaps have that vagina surgery? That tightens? Or if I get droopy boobs, perhaps lift it a little bit up?

I have no problem with anyone doing any surgery. Let people have things. Let them be happy. It’s their money. Their confidence.

But for me, it’s a no at this time. Speak to me in 6year and maybe I’ll have a different answer.

The closet thing to plastic surgery I have no is makeup.  So I went and glowed myself up. 😉

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Sidenote: Gun to your head, what would you change?

Zonneweelde Geusthouse review

The past 2months my husband and I set foot on beautiful soil. South Africa, Doha, Italy, Belguim and The Netherlands.

We’ve been in many guesthouses, and I thought I’ll take some pictures and do reviews on the guesthouses. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up there sometime.

Zonneweelde is a guesthouse in South Africa. The Western Cape in Worcester.

It’s a huge house, seems somewhat Victorian on the outside but modern on the inside.

We were greeted by a worker who had been working there for years. She explained to me that the previous owners of the guesthouse sold it to these new owners and she stayed on.

We were one of the first guests in the hotel since the new owners.

She was polite. We are used to just paying for our stay, but at this hotel, they needed also your ID or passport for copies.

We gave her our passports.

THE ROOM

The room was homely. I liked it. My husband would go so far as saying he loved it.

Something that’s important for both my husband and me was a good mattress. Nothing messes with our sleep 🙂 And the bed was comfortable. The sheets were clean.  There were mini couches in the room as well.

Altogether the room was tidy and beautiful.

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THE KITCHEN AREA

It’s actually a part of the chamber. In the corner, they created a kitchen area. It consists of a bar fridge, microwave, and a kettle. We were welcomed in our room with coffee/tea/milk and cookies.  There were also two teaspoons.

I do not have pictures of this because we ate the cookies and drank the liquids before I realized I wanted to do a review on the place.

THE BATHROOM

The bathroom was improvident. It had a stand alone bath. On one side of the bathroom was a massaging couch. There was a comfortable chair, a handbasin with a mirror and a toilet. Threw the window we had a view of the backyard and the swimming pool.

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THE BALCONY

The balcony is quite big. It has couches and chairs outside with a smoking tray. The view is the street.

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THE ENTRANCE

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WHERE IT’S SITUATED

Zonneweelde is located right in the midst of the town. Food stores, markets, clothing stores, etc. was in walking distance.

IS IT SAFE?

Zonneweelde is on the safe side of town, but still be vigilant when you go for walks. Walking at night is not an option in my experience.

CULTURE?

If you want to experience the culture of South Africa, then Worcester is a great place to start. They have black, white, brown, yellow, green, blue all types of races in one town. And if you are familiar with South Africa’s history, you will be fascinated by experiencing it first hand.

BREAKFAST?

Zonneweelde serves breakfast. It’s a beautiful area where you can eat. However, being South African myself, I saw the breakfast, and it was typically South African oats. Which I had enough of growing up. Every single day so I told my husband I’d rather opt out. He, being Dutch loved it. You can have breakfast for an extra price, depending on what you choose.

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PRICE

It was R400/28euro/30us dollar for one person per night.

So for two people, it was R800 / 57 euro/ 61 us dollars.

WAYS OF PAYING

Cash, VISA and Mastercard (There’s an ATM around the corner)

MY CONCLUSION?

I liked it well. My husband loved it, especially the balcony. Was it worth the money? Uhm, yes and no. If you are just looking for a place to crash, then I’d suggest a cheaper place. There’s actually much more affordable places. I’ll review them later.

But if you are looking for a cultural experience then Zonneweelde will give you your money’s worth. Not at the place where you sleep but traveling around town. Everything is really close by.

Zonneweelde is a clean, luxurious place.

Let me know what you think about it when you happen to travel there.

Here are some pictures from a booking website.https://www.lekkeslaap.co.za/akkommodasie/zonneweelde

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Child in an adult body

I think my heightened awareness of death is caused by the fact that growing up in South Africa, in my small town people are dying left to right.

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It’s the drug abuse that causes the violence. If you hear that your friend passed away, it doesn’t leave that big of a shock anymore because previously your aunt or cousin died.

Perhaps it’s the same everywhere else, as we humans have more in common than our skin color, continents, and economic status.

Dealing with so much death, I’m always aware that people don’t live forever. I don’t live forever. A split second can be the difference between death and life.

So whenever I’m in a quarrel with someone, I try to forgive immediately and mend broken relationships.

This morning I was thinking about it.

Sometimes there are just that people in your life that are poisonous. Whenever they are there, something bad happens. They have not mastered their emotions to the point of being a sensible human being. So their emotions take over and result in dark things.

This person would gossip about you or portray you in the worst way. Why worry about that right? Let people believe what they want to. If things were that easy.

Typically, people believe them cause it’s your parent or some superior figure.

What is ‘superior’ then, if age is the only thing that makes a person superior? Should it not be a person’s emotional intelligence that makes them ‘superior’ if the word superior has to be used. But I digress.

This type of person will abuse you with words, emotions or sometimes physically.

Terms such as ‘I wish you were never born,’ ‘You have a mental illness, you are crazy’ etc. will come out of their mouths daily.

Say for instance this person is a mother. Babies/ children often look up to their mother or guardian for protection and to build their self-esteem. Now, what if that person is the one causing the damage. And bad mouthing their kids to the neighbors, family, friends, world? Why would a guardian even do that?

Too many of our children in this world grow up like that. Verbal abuse it is not seen as such a big crime as opposed to being physically abused. Even though the mental consciousness endures much longer. Not saying physically abused children are better off. Ill-treatment in any form is evil.

Such children grow up into hurtful adults. So many broken children are living in grown up bodies, mimicking adult lives.

If in their adult lives, the abuser is still part of their lives, this will persists on happening. After a traumatic event, the abuser will the next day act if nothing was wrong and insists on being forgiven.

If only that would be the end of it, but no, whenever they feel bad again, which is often they’ll end up saying worse things than before.

It would be easy to say, ‘Ah, just cut them out of your life’ if you are not dealing with these type of people.

If it’s friends, sure thing. You are cut out of my life in an instant. There are too many peaceful people to go around then to have horrible friends. But what if this person is a parent, sibling or close relative?

I’ll be the first one to say that it hurts. Because growing up, you have this picture in your mind of how it is supposed to be. That thought screws you up the most.

But I think my advice will be… or no wait. Let me rephrase. I think in my experience I’ve learned that these people don’t change. And even if you know that there must be some good in them (no one is just downright evil. most people are only 50% evil) it’s not up to you to stick around for whenever that good is going to come out.

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Death is a reality. But if the fear of someone dying keeps you from your peace, it’s not worth it. Make peace with if they die and you had not the relationship that you hoped for.  You have done your best.

You are worth a peaceful life with people who loves you. And if that fails and you are completely alone; it puts you in the perfect position to learn to love yourself. Be alone with yourself and discover the company that you keep in the empty moments.

‘These damn shoes’

If you ask me whether I like these shoes or not, I would tell you I hate them.

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But yet I put them on every day over all the other shoes that I have, I pick these ones.

I was sitting outside this morning, looking down on these shoes and I thought ‘These damn shoes.’

The first time I put these shoes on was when I came back from The Netherlands. It was hot in South Africa, and I had a pair of boots on. My dad greeted me at the airport with these guys. Thankful to get out of my boots, my journey with these ‘flip flops’ started.

When I was between the ages of 4years- 12years I would wear these shoes religiously. We use to call it ‘vissies’.

I’d wear them every day. Back then I wasn’t as picky I suppose, or there probably wasn’t any money to have a range of shoes.

Somewhere along the road, I’ve stopped wearing these type of flip flops because ‘it didn’t fit with my outfit.’

Now at 26years old, I’ve come to love them again. For the simple reason that it’s comfortable and easy to put on.

I don’t like this picticular pair because I fell twice with it. Once I almost broke my leg. It was raining outside, and the tiles were wet. I did not blame the rain, or that I was in a hurry. Oh no, it was these damn shoes.

Last week, when I met my friend at the store, I had these shoes on. The South African sun was at it’s hottest, and on my way back, I stepped into a thorn, it went right threw the shoes. Ouch!

I complain to my dad ‘I hate these damn shoes’ as I put them back on.

‘Chantal you have a new pair of pink flip flops in the closet, why don’t you throw these ones away?’ My dad would say.

When observing the shoes, you would see how dirty it looks. It doesn’t matter if I wash them daily, as I also wear them in the shower, the moment it hits the ground it eats dust. Not a cute look.

Yesterday I saw that a piece of the shoe came off. How? The dog bite it.

‘These damn shoes.’ Again, I blame the shoes.

Why can’t I just throw it away?

I’ve realized I had such fond memories of these type of shoes when I was growing up. All my friends had them, and we would wear it until there’s no piece left of the flip-flop.

And when we got new ‘vissies’ it would be a big occasion. My friends would all admire the new ‘vissies’ and I would have my Sunday dress on, on a Wednesday.

I’m holding on to those fond moments.

Now that I’m slightly older walking with dirty feet and gross sandals are not cute. But back then oh man, it was a right of passage in my small town.

Tonight I’m going to visit my aunt. I’m looking at all my heels and other beautiful shoes.

Hmm, I think to myself. What shall I wear tonight?

My Sunday dress ?…and these damn shoes.

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Sidenote: What did you call these shoes growing up?

#ootd Married life

I realised I haven’t done an #ootd in a while.  I love doing these posts!  🙂

I hope you enjoy it too. I feel like in this shoot no fudge  where given when it came to me actually opening my eyes!  🙂

Where I bought the clothes:

Pink shirt: Mr Price

Black jeans: Zara

White faux wool coat: Mr Price

Black boots: Zara

My husband took the pictures.

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