How to deal with depression in a busy life

As someone with bipolar, I know depression well. I started trying different things four years ago, and these seem to help me. I hope it helps you. I tried to keep it short and to the point. I know life is busy! ūüôā

  • Do not forget to eat, even if you do not have appetite. Depression makes some people loose their appetite and causes others to over eat.
  • Do some exercise.
  • Prevent staying in bed even though it is tempting
  • Your brain is wired to think negatively, change your focus onto something more positive
  • Drink water
  • Make sure you take rest. Don’t over work.
  • Take periods of time just to rest and don’t feel guilty about it.
  • Take your medication as prescribed
  • Don’t stop taking your medication when you start to feel better.

    Depression influence everyone differently, use these tips as guidelines because you know yourself better than anyone.

  • Your problem has been solved. You just haven't arrived in that point in time yet.
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Are fashion bloggers shallow?

A friend of mine inbox me this morning to borrow some money. I noticed that it was the second one in this week asking me for money. This is unusual for me. Not because all my friends are super rich, just that I don’t have any real friends apart from two people (Not the people who asked for money)

That being said, I have no objection to helping people out, as I myself have been many times in a place of needing. And kind souls have helped me out.

So, why this post about whether or not fashion bloggers are shallow?

Well when I explained to the person that I cannot help her at the moment, because the sum was huge, she told me ‘Yeah, you living the life. I see your pictures on Facebook. Every week a new outfit but now you don’t have money for me. All you care about is clothes, you are so shallow’

I recognized the emotional manipulation. However, the answer didn’t upset me much, just the idea that fashion bloggers can sometimes come off as shallow and all we care about is shoes, clothes and the shade of red lipstick we wear on our lips.

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With any blog, you choose a theme for your blog. Lifestyle, writing, spiritual fashion, a little of everything’ then predominately that blog will be about those things.

If someone has a Spiritual blog, no one says ‘You are so shallow’. ¬†They think this person is super spiritual (however I believe all beings are spiritual, we just live in our physical bodies now)¬†

But in their daily lives they might like fashion, cars or gourmet food. They just happen to have a blog specifically about spirituality.

I'm not what you think I am.You are what you think I am

Source: I made this but used the image of DG

So, fashion bloggers, just like any other bloggers, blog about what they are passionate about.

I follow everyone that follows me, and I look through the blog posts daily and I smile. Fashion bloggers gives me what’s new in the fashion world, inspire my personal style and give bad ass reviews about things I care about.

The other blogs I follow give me insight into food, writing, beauty, mental health, poems, love,life,adventures, farms and a whole lot more. I read widely, and it is lovely to see all the creativity and thoughts. It inspires me.

I don’t think fashion bloggers are shallow. I don’t think I’m shallow.

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Source: Lupytha Hermin

 

 

 

What my husband does right and my exes did wrong.

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I have taught many men have loved me. But as I lay here tonight, I realized that ¬†is not the case. I’ve not been loved until my husband came along.

These are things I’ve realized about my previous relationships.

Being loved is not ‘liking’ my pictures. It’s not making my face your profile picture. And I have to be so proud because it means you are not cheating. It’s not tagging me in all the pictures and saying ‘she’s mine‘.

Love is not possessive. Unsure. Or social media.

It’s finding genuine beauty in my soul and appearance when I’m down and out. When the blow dry has been out for days. When I need a hot-water bottle for my stomach at 3am. When you know I take 2 sugars in my coffee but I don’t really drink coffee. I change my mind and you change what we have in the fridge. ‘No coffee today, no tea today, so maybe I should get juice’ he says and smiles.

But I also love him. And that gives me the opportunity to bend myself around him. Bend my ways, in love. With bending comes breaking. Like breaking my bad habits. I want to say it’s difficult because everyone says it is, but it’s so easy. Destroying my bad habits became so easy.

It becomes easy when you know that not only you, but another being also, is doing their best to build a great present and future. Building a respectful, loyal loving space to live.

Now here comes the part where people say (and have said: ‘Oh just wait for the bad times and we’ll speak again.’

I don’t wait for bad times, because if you wait for something it will come. And we have had a fair share of ‘bad times’. But even in those moments I realize this is the man I love and he is alive, with me. Breathing. Whatever pisses me the fuck off right now, is not worth it.

So we ‘fight’ (Relatively short because I’m a Virgo. I’m ¬†a problem solver )We sit in silence. After a while he suggest or I suggest getting a glass of wine or juice or water. We think. And focus on what’s important. What’s the problem, what can we do about it?, what can’t we do about it? Somewhere in there I get snacks and he gets a notepad for our plans of action.

And you move on to the next day and the next and the next.

No, we don’t have all our shit together, but love is a beautiful thing to witness.

 

 

 

 

Self love & depression

When I think about loving ¬†and accepting myself I think about vanity. Like ‘Okay, I love my body, I love my face, I love my hair’ or whatever I might not be liking and then conditioning myself to like that particular part.

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With a world full of Photoshop and filters, self love has become even more sought after. And it makes sense. You see all of these images of unattainable beauty and you feel inadequate about your own.

There’s a quote that says ‘The presence of another human’s beauty is not the absence of your own.’ (…Or something like that)

I like it, but do we as a society truly believe it?

Today’s post is not about outer acceptance, even though that is also important. I’ve made the journey to accepting most of myself and I’m quite comfortable. Here and there I still struggle with my body, but it gets better.

However, I had this thought that loving myself is much more than standing in front of a mirror, trying to find myself in the face that stares back at me.

The idea of loving yourself has been very dear to me. And so today’s blog post is inspired by Court‘s video. You can check it out here.

In the video she mentions 5 signs that you don’t love yourself. I was stuck on nr3.

Basically she explains how loving yourself is also eating well, drinking enough water and sleeping.

And then I knew I had to write this post, to get it of my chest and to share with you. Because that’s what I do best.

I’ll be speaking more on the side of depression as I’m a person with bipolar and depression is no stranger to me. I hope this helps someone.

Here we go!

I’ve come to understand that loving yourself is taking care of hygiene.

This is something not everyone speaks about, but if you’d ever had depression, then you know hygiene is one of the first things to go.

Take a shower everyday and if not everyday, then every day. it’s difficult I know. Some people reading this might even think ‘Eew disgusting!’ But I’m not writing this for those people. I’m writing this for you. I know what it feels like.

But also I know what warm water over my body feels like. It’s like a hug from nature to you. Massage your neck with the water. wash your hair. massage your scalp. Put clean clothes on. Change your bedding.

Loving yourself is also eating well…Or sometimes just eating. Even if it’s Mc Donalds, at least getting that food in your mouth and giving your stomach cardboard to chew on mimics the feeling of being fed. Not the healthiest choice, but hey.

But to actually love yourself, feeding your body the proper food it needs will make you feel better. But you know that already. People with depression know that probably better than most people. The problem however is to get out of bed, go to the stores and get the food. Then come home and cook it. Day after day, breakfast, snacks, dinner etc. Sometimes you don’t have money for healthy food or the stove don’t work or your life don’t work or you don’t work.

And so fast food seems like an option. I know the feeling. But try. And tomorrow is another day.

Loving yourself is drinking enough water. Enough said.

Loving yourself is exercising. Such an easy sentence to write, so difficult to do when one is depressed. Here I am trying to loose the Mc Donald’s pounds I’ve been gaining. It was raining and my Marcel and myself was in bed, nicely tucked away. But I got out of bed and died a thousand times while running. This is the part where I say that it made me feel better. It really didn’t. Running makes me feel awful. But knowing that I ran makes me feel good. And after a while, I feel the health benefits.

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I think as primitive humans we didn’t have cars, we had donkeys etc. We moved around more. Now we have all the luxury as a necessity of some sort. That’s what causes the problems. Back then people worked on farms, walked for miles and was more active then the average person today. They had fresh food, real food. Period.

But they also died of things we today can easily avoid because of the advanced medical field . (However, I think sometimes it would be wise to use more herbs etc in our medication, but that’s just me)

And finally, loving yourself is mediating. Or becoming still. It gives your mind the chance to reset and disconnect with the world. Which is necessary , the world is overwhelming at times.

Facebook, IG, twitter, snapchat etc is great, but leaving it for one hour or even 15min to focus on yourself is needed. You won’t miss much anyway. You can always go back and everything will still be on social media. Like this blog post, like your aunt who posted a picture of her new baby, like that cute boy who sent you an inbox.

First love yourself, take care of your mind then go back into the world and little by little sunshine will appear.

It’s the little things in life that makes big differences.

 

 

 

 

It’s in the little things

Sometimes when you are looking forward to something it’s easier to only focus on that future moment that the present loose its value.

In my case, I’m looking forward to seeing my husband. And with this ‘holiday’ here, all I can think about is when it’s over so that I can go back to my husband.

I’m guilty of sometimes sleeping the whole day and the entire night just to pass by time.

And when I wake up there’s still so many days left.

Tonight I got into bed and it’s very warm here. I put on the fan and a cool breeze drifted over my body. It felt heavenly. I marinated in that feeling.

Then my cat Thomas jumped on the bed and joined me under the cool breeze. He fell¬†asleep purr purring. I felt less alone ‚̧

My body became really relaxed and it felt good breathing. Weird but true. Deep breaths.

Between breathing and enjoying the moment, I realised this moment is all I have. A day is made up of little moments.

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‘These damn shoes’

If you ask me whether I like these shoes or not, I would tell you I hate them.

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But yet I put them on every day over all the other shoes that I have, I pick these ones.

I was sitting outside this morning, looking down on these shoes and I thought ‘These damn shoes.’

The first time I put these shoes on was when I came back from The Netherlands. It was hot in South Africa, and I had a pair of boots on. My dad greeted me at the airport with these guys. Thankful to get out of my boots, my journey with these ‘flip flops’ started.

When I was between the ages of 4years- 12years I would wear these shoes religiously. We use to call it ‘vissies’.

I’d wear them every day. Back then I wasn’t as picky I suppose, or there probably wasn’t any money to have a range of shoes.

Somewhere along the road, I’ve stopped wearing these type of flip flops because ‘it didn’t fit with my outfit.’

Now at 26years old, I’ve come to love them again. For the simple reason that it’s comfortable and easy to put on.

I don’t like this picticular pair because I fell twice with it. Once I almost broke my leg. It was raining outside, and the tiles were wet. I did not blame the rain, or that I was in a hurry. Oh no, it was these damn shoes.

Last week, when I met my friend at the store, I had these shoes on. The South African sun was at it’s hottest, and on my way back, I stepped into a thorn, it went right threw the shoes. Ouch!

I complain to my dad ‘I hate these damn shoes’ as I put them back on.

‘Chantal you have a new pair of pink flip flops in the closet, why don’t you throw these ones away?’ My dad would say.

When observing the shoes, you would see how dirty it looks. It doesn’t matter if I wash them daily, as I also wear them in the shower, the moment it hits the ground it eats dust. Not a cute look.

Yesterday I saw that a piece of the shoe came off. How? The dog bite it.

‘These damn shoes.’ Again, I blame the shoes.

Why can’t I just throw it away?

I’ve realized I had such fond memories of these type of shoes when I was growing up. All my friends had them, and we would wear it until there’s no piece left of the flip-flop.

And when we got new ‘vissies’ it would be a big occasion. My friends would all admire the new ‘vissies’ and I would have my Sunday dress on, on a Wednesday.

I’m holding on to those fond moments.

Now that I’m slightly older walking with dirty feet and gross sandals are not cute. But back then oh man, it was a right of passage in my small town.

Tonight I’m going to visit my aunt. I’m looking at all my heels and other beautiful shoes.

Hmm, I think to myself. What shall I wear tonight?

My Sunday dress ?…and these damn shoes.

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Sidenote: What did you call these shoes growing up?

Weight gain. Is that you?

I woke up today at 13;00. The first thing I thirst for is ice cold Coco-Cola in the morning. I had to go get some at the store.

On my way to the store, I saw a friend of mine whom I haven’t seen in two years. I waited till she caught my eye and noticed me. To my dread, she didn’t.

I said ‘pssst lovely lady,’ and she looked at me for a near min. 1 min can get long when it’s not said on paper, but in reality when the sun is burning your face.

‘Chantal, IS THAT YOU?’ She ran to me and hugged me. ‘Oh my gosh, I miss you so much! What are you doing in South Africa?

I explained to her about the mvv. She nodded.

‘Girl, I did not notice you. You’ve gained some weight.’

You can always count on childhood friends to call you out about your fish.

‘And your hair, it looks like you’ve just woke up.I don’t know you like this.’

Well, I just woke up. As you¬†know, I’m a ghostwriter, and the client’s book is finished. Just the little things that need to be done, but I’m in South Africa, and the company is in America, two different time zones, so I was up all night.

I did not explain all of that. She caught me up on her life, new home, and a new boyfriend. She’s been doing better ever since she stopped using crystal meth.

On my way back from the shop, it hit me. Gosh, I must’ve gained so must weight.

I’m not blind, but I can act blind when I passed a mirror. But lately, it’s been buzzing me ‘yeah I’ve been gaining weight.’

I have no problem with women who gain weight and is proud of it. Go, women.

Social media’s eyes have been opening to the impossible beuty standards that women are held to.

All the models are being photoshoped to perfection. Achieving those beuaty standards are impossible. Many teenage suicides because of it.I’m hoping God drops little girls in my womb, so I get how the media is being unrealistic.

But what about the women who want to change? Sometimes they’re looked upon as being materialistic, shallow beings.

Woah, how the world changes every day. Today being skinny is good, tomorrow being thick with a phat bum is good.

But what’s good for you personally?

Well, for one thing, I’m going to start losing weight. I kinda, sorta, lazily was on my way.

But I cannot lie to myself. I can sugar coat this post, which I will not, in ‘kind’ words. But I felt sad and depressed when my friend told me how fat I’ve become.

When I came back to South Africa everyone that saw me said the same thing ‘Ah, you thought you’ll always have that model body, but see everyone gets fat.’ ¬†(Weird because I never thought about it. Just shows what goes on in other people’s minds.)

They were  delighted by my weight gain.

Like ‘Welcome to the gaining weight club. Being a mommy/wife does that to you. You’ll get used to it.’

Now HOLD UP. I’m a wife, but that doesn’t say ish. I know wives are looking great as ever. I’m on my way to that. If you want to start your pitty club, good for you, but I’m out of here.

It shouldnt have to take other people to get me to take care of my body. Even thought they kind of not expect me to do a turn back.

I watched the video of Nick Cannon speaking about food. And how we are not eating real food. He didn’t go into the science of it, but I’ve been on that topic for a while.

The government doesn’t care about us, and the safest food you can eat is those growing from the ground. The less it’s processed, the better it is. Quite an interesting subject, google it.

Many thoughts run through my mind, but I’ll sum it up for myself in these ways.

Reasons to take care of my body:

1.Healthy food makes me feel better. Less sleepy, more energetic. Hap me. Endorphins. Serotonin trip, etc.

2.I’m still young (26years old) Why not be the best me I can be?

  1. I believe a healthy body is not only a result of eating delicious fruits, veggies, meat, fish, etc. but also having a healthy mental attitude.

 

A healthy mental attitude

I’m one of those people who believe in knowing thyself.

Part of the reason I’ve been gaining weight is probably causing for the past 2years I’ve been meditating, reading Seth and Abraham-Hicks books, instead of jogging like crazy.

*Jokes, but you get what I mean*

For some of you reading and have no clue what I’m speaking about, the basis of this belief is ‘I create the world I perceive.’

It goes so much deeper than that, but that’s the easiest way I can tell you.

When I started with the meditation, I was in an atrocious place. So, at that time all I wanted was to atleast be mentaly strong on the inside, to hell with what I looked like on the outside.

Because although I looked good on the outside, my mind was barraged with depression. And anyone in depression knows what you’ll give up to have a ‘normal’ peaceful mind.

Now that I’ve reached the part where my mind is more peachful than it uses to be, and when it gets less quiet as it sometimes does, I know better how to control it.

Now, I look in the mirror, and I’m like ‘Holy Shit, Hello Chantal.’There’s a whole 5kgs extra on you.

Yes, only 5kgs. Again it sounds pretty on paper, but in reality it doesnt look so good on my love handles, stomach, face, and arms.

Those are my problem areas.

And yes, I know, there’s people who’ve gained 100kgs, but that’s not me. I’m dealing with me right now, and that’s also important.

I know it won’t take me long to lose this weight and get back into shape. However, I’m a shape now, a potato shape. But I would like to be back to whatever shape my 26year old body has for me. Hopefully not my 24year old body, cause even though it was good at that time, now it will be too skinny.

I’ve comet o the end of this article, and yes I feel better. The sad feeling I had when I started writing this article has disappeared, and so I’m grateful for this tool of writing.

I wish I could say I feel like taking a jog now, but my bed looks pretty good. Getting under the covers, drinking a can of Coca-cola with a nice book:)

But no.

I’m going to replace some of my food now. I like eating healthy; the problem is when there’s no healthy food around, and it’s so much easier to get fast food.

So, the first effort of the day is replacing my prosessed food with food that my great grandma would recognize. Veggies and such. Gosh, watermelon is so good.

See ya! ūüôā

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Anyone here been gaining weight?