Real life vs blogging life?

When you are a personal blogger, meaning your blog is about your life and experiences, you tend to write about your life. Makes sense, right?

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When people come to your blog, they can expect to read about your life, your travels, etc.

We get different people in this life, with different personalities and different cultures. I get that.

What I don’t get is people who tell me ‘I would not blog‘  Well it’s good that you don’t.

Oh, you should not have written about that.’

Well, maybe you should not read my blog? Maybe take the time you read my blog to read the Bible?’

I wanted a personal blog as long as I can remember. I admired other people’s personal blogs for so long.   3years ago I started this blog. How it has grown and how I have traveled to different continents is beside me. The food, the people and the cultures.

I’m the one always telling people ‘If you expect the whole world to accept you, you will be a miserable personMeanwhile there I was subconsciously doing the same thing.

The question was not so much about me saying bad things or whatever on my blog, but the way in which people would make me feel like I shared my whole life on my blog. ‘Oh, I just have to look on your blog to know what you are up to.’ Like it’s a dreadful thing.

For some reason that made me feel ways.

Not saying this in a bad way, but I got that from more the older generation than the younger.

I feel so bad when older generations say that ‘Ah this new generation does not have values.’ For one, I see what they mean. I’m 26 years old, and I feel certain ways about the younger generation.

But yet, I was not born in the generation of my parents, I was born in 1990.  I grew up when people got boob implants. Now it’s changed to butt implants. Instagram is ‘lit’ (yeah I wouldn’t say that social media is teaching me words) and reality is you can get paid for blogging. It’s actually a career.

Why do some of us humans have the need to share their life with the world? A question I’ve actually written a psychological paper on. Many answers I found was, loneliness, narcissistic, low-self-esteem’ you can imagine further.

I took a close look at the content on my blog, it’s not that personal at all. It’s stuff that everyone knows already, like getting married and my traveling experiences.

Why does (some) older people have a problem with it? And on here, most of my blog friends are 50 years of age and upwards, and they do the same, that’s why I say some.

I’m not the person to post my dramas online, while other people are popping popcorn while watching.

But I’m that person who would write about sex, God and occasionally use vulgar words. Perhaps it makes people uncomfortable? ‘You are not the Chantal we think you ought to be.’

This brings up the question about unconditional love. I’m not expecting unconditional love from anyone, but once you proclaim it, I kinda hold you to it. (Not with much anticipation)

They say ‘Ah I love you unconditionally… as long as you do this and that.

There was one time I was actually sat down by relatives to discuss what I wrote about Bi-polar. ‘People will speak about it, Chantal. They will gossip.

Small town mentality. 

People like to see you fall but not see you raise. They allow you to do good, but not better than them. Your life is too good to be true, so you must be lying about something.

How you traveling so much? How do you make that much money when you are a photographer? Then you do photography, then you write books or sell stuff. What do you actually do? (Uhm, I’m trying to find my passions. Do you pay my bills, no? Well, then you don’t have any business here.) Why don’t you practice psychology if you studied for it? Why this, why that? Something is fishy..’

I’m so fed up with this. I deactivated my Facebook. The people that I know in ‘real-life’ is so much more tiring than the people I meet online. It makes sense cause people you meet online are not as invested in you. Perhaps don’t care for you as much.

The funny thing is, though, the people that are invested in me I can count on three fingers and my cat is one. So go figure. Why give a F-word right?

Well, I have family. They are not ride-or-die, but I have them.

The reality is that perception is everything to people. As hard as I can argue against it, what you put online is how people see you.  I care for them, and would not want to disgrace them. But at what cost?

Most writers, Stephen King, Gillian Flynn, Charles Bukowski, etc. says the same thing: You have to decide between being accepted in polite society or being the best writer you can be.’ My book ‘Short stories for the toilet and the airplane‘ has not come out yet, for fear of disgracing my family. But soon it will be releashed.

 I don’t want to put up content where I’m only happy. Life is more realistic with a variety of emotions.  

I’ve been happy for about one year straight, and I’ve not written about it.I don’t write much about happiness, I just feel it. Roll around in it, experience it.

But when I feel discouraged, I put my thoughts on paper.  I share it with the world. Gosh, if you are new to my blog, you probably thinking I write utter private stuff. I really don’t. But I digress.

My point in writing this post is for myself. I’m coming back to blogging, in whatever way that is. I needed to write this post. I’m a writer by existence. I pour my emotions into words and pictures. That’s who I am. I accept it. My husband has always accepted it.

 Now the lurkers who know me in ‘real-life’ who never comment can read this post, and send the link via WhatsApp or private inboxes to everyone they know and I’ll watch my views on this post go from 1view to 1000 views in one night.

***

Sidenote: Anyone else blogging dealing with this?

 

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16 thoughts on “Real life vs blogging life?

  1. I haven’t really had to deal with kind of criticism you’re describing, and I think that it’s partially a couple thing, I’m not sure how much of my blog is being read by people who aren’t in the blogging community, and on the occasions that my mother, father, sister and wife read it, they’ve been dealing with me being an open book about my personal life for years before starting to blog.
    Hopefully you know that there are those of us who really respect when someone bares it all emotionally.
    Last thing, when people talk about narcissism when talking about blogs, probably don’t realize how much self reflection has gone into art and literature nearly for ever.
    Keep up the good work!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. While I haven’t received that kind of comment yet, I won’t approve such comments since they didn’t add value to the discussion. If they disgree, fine. Just include their arguments why they disagree and I’ll politelyanswer them. But if they say something like “this post is crap” without giving any reason or “you should not blog because you’re an idiot”, then I won’t approve their comments. A typical troll is typical and feeding the trolls will just inflate their pathetic ego.

    As for the older generation saying that the new generation doesn’t have values is BS. This kind of thing happens in every generation since many of the older generation felt that they are more superior and that they have the moral high ground over the younger ones. Even Aristotle and many other people of ancient times had said this codswallop.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hey. The comments that I refer to here are comments I get on a real conversation basis/ physical interaction basis, not on my blog thus I cannot ‘approve’ or ‘disapprove it’. But I get what you are saying and I agree. Especially with some of the older generation saying the younger generation lack morals.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Very interesting article! I just started my blog myself and it’s nice to see some of the struggles others are going or have went through. I believe even if it’s not a personal blog, some part of you will shine through the articles anyway. Even better, ’cause it makes the readers wonder who is this person writing. Anyways, great article and great topic.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Be yourself, Chantal. It’s the best advice you’ll get. Those who like, admire, and understand you will stick with you. Let the others go. Life is full of ups and downs, good and bad, polite people and rude people, good people and bad people. Keep the good close, reject those who dwell on the negative. Compassion, empathy, and caring for others is what counts. In short, it’s your life, your blog so live it your way. I for one enjoy it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. well… personal blogging does indeed have some downsides… some people will think they know you to your bone, some will even think they are in a relationship with you (increased number of unrequested dickpicks LOL) there will always be emotions, people who hate you for what you are doing because of whatever reason but also the many friends blogging does bring… would never give that up ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Weird but I have never really looked at it from that stand point. People can actually think they know you to the bone! Ha! 🙂 A lot of dick pics hey? Luckly I’m not on that level yet, just my loved ones thinking I’m Beyonce.

      Like

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