Ask me one more time when I’m going to get married


Early this morning I had an intervention. Not a polite one. Now I love some people more than coffee but not always before coffee which means the conversation did not start on a good note.

There I am with my pyjamas half asleep in my 2nd dream listening to all the reasons my life ‘has no direction.’

2015-01-25 17.50.54

It was a 2 hour intervention that basically came down to this:

1. When are you getting married

2. And when are you getting married.

3. Oh and when are you getting married.

I’m 24 years old now. To you, that might be very young, and indeed for me it is. I observe that I’m in a fortunate position to be 24, with no responsibilities other than Shekinah my kitten.  I can travel the world,  which I’m really enjoying. I’m in a fortunate position to not have a ‘need’ for a guy in my life. I’m at the point where I’m very satisfied and not in any rush. With all that being said,  I love children and want to get married one day, just not today, especially early in the morning before coffee.

All the people that wants me to get married are married already. They have very good marriages, but I see the struggle and regret. I see they suffer because they had married too young or were not financially ready. Why then  push me into that?

Not that marriages are all bad, but it is not children’s play as well.

My cousin came last week and told me:’ Why aren’t you married’ I laughed and said : ‘because I don’t see good men around and I don’t have a need for a man right now’ She continued to say it’s wrong I should get married, because I’m getting older. This same cousin is going through a divorce right now because her husband beat the chap out of her to the point where she was using meth.

Again, not all marriages are like that. But have we come to the point that being married is the ultimate sign of being complete and happy, having it all? I have so much respect for marriage, because it’s an institution of God. It is meant to be holy and sacred. God went so far as to compare the relationship with His people and himself as a  marriage. We are His wife and He our beloved. I have so much respect for marriage, that I choose to wait and do not date any guy, without the intention of getting married.  When I date a guy it’s because my intention is to marry him. Too many people are left heartbroken, and breaking someone’s heart is not funny. It’s not cool. It’s not having ‘swag’, it’s not yolo.  It is stupid, shows you are not loyal, don’t respect other people,  and do not have understanding of commitment.  And I’ve come a long way, working on myself and preparing myself for marriage. I’m a pearl and I’m not going to give myself to a pig, that does not know my value. In society today, saying that makes you conceited, I say no, it is knowing who you are, and how you should be treated.

I think sometimes what screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s suppose to be.


Now let me go have my cup of coffee 🙂



16 thoughts on “Ask me one more time when I’m going to get married

  1. Oh god, I feel sorry for the fact that you have this! But in a way I am glad it is happening to someone else!

    I am 21, been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years and constantly my parents drop hints here there and everywhere. I have a strong career, solid relationship and I know what direction I am heading in yet I still like to think that I can remain young. I am saving for a mortgage, have the weight of a high pressure job and just like to kick back and relax at home.

    Atleast we’re going through this together



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s