I know a guy, he is 41 years old and his name is Jarred.

He never knew his dad & his mom is an alcoholic.  She beat the chap out of him & never said a good word towards him. His never been touched, never been kissed. From a young age he became an alcoholic and developed mental problems. He was then known as the crazy kid on the block.

On Sunday, after 10 years,  I had the privilege to sit next to him under a tree. Sunday I was invited to a dinner in the area where I grew up. It was lovely. Jarred came to sit on the rock besides me and said :’Chantal, do you remember my name?” And I said ‘Yes Jarred’ He Smiled.  For the first time I looked at his face, not as the crazy drunk kid on the block, but as a human being. He has a mouth and eyes.  His skin is wrinkled & dry from the sun.  After a long conversation he told me he always liked me since childhood.  I said I know. He said he knew he had no chance in hell with me. By this time my aunt came out with watermelon,  and added ‘and no chance in heaven’. We all laughed. Next thing he gets on his knee and asks me to marry him. Three times.  We all know mentally his mind sometimes drifts off,  so no one took it seriously- except me. I asked him, Jarred if I say yes, where are we going to live, as you are homeless & live on the street?  He told me don’t worry about that.

Many things where said on Sunday. He treated me like a princess..until he spoke to me and I didn’t hear, so he pulled my hand as I was walking away, in a violent manner. He grew up in violence and does not know love, he couldn’t tell the difference between taking a hand softly and grabbing it hard.

I would never marry him. Not because I think I’m better than him. But the question came up in my mind, he said he loves me. What does love mean to a person who has never experienced love?  How do you love? I believe he doesn’t love me, it might have been lust, as leading researcher( in the area of love)Helen Fisher has discovered. (Studied the effect of love on the brain) I wrote an article on that subject in my previous posts.

This question reminds me of a quote: We do not love people as they are, we love them as we are’



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