How difficult is it to find a person to marry?

I don’t know if it’s because I turned 24 that my non – existing love life seems to be the topic on the elders mouths lately, or if I have a sticker on my head saying ‘let’s speak about uncomfortable issues.’ Granted, all the elderly people in my town is very lovely and funny, from the lady that sits on the porch to the town drunkard, in some way they’ve all raised me. Like we say on the continent of Africa ‘it takes a village to raise a child.’

Contemplating on this subject of picking a husband, I came to a few conclusions. I think this can apply to females and males.

1. In this day and age, it is not difficult to find a guy. Everything is connected with Twitter, instagram, Facebook, Skype etc. Most people just need to upload a good looking picture and sure there would be an inbox waiting for them. Also, it seems that everyone seems to be good looking lately. So finding a good looking person is also not difficult. Let me just stop here and explain my theory on the ‘good looking phase’

I’ve noticed the younger you are, the more ‘looks’ in the opposite sex is important. The more we mature, ‘looks’ doesn’t play that big of a role, because we understand how life works ‘good looks will not look after the children when you are sick’  Other things become more important such as characteristics. And sometimes, if you are lucky, it is even easy to find someone with good characteristics.  But let me explain where it gets difficult.

To make this easy, I will make an example of my own life. Say I have a guy that is good looking and have good characteristics and loves God and loves me, it’d be assumed that this is a great match. I’ve found this not to be true. See, in the Christian world, there are also different types of Christians. I realised I fall under the ‘crazy christians’ I believe in casting out demons, praying in tongues as I wash the dishes, praying over my cat, spiritual readings, spiritual cleansing, dreams, dream interpretation etc. Now all of that seems pretty normal, but I’m like that 24/7 in everything I do. Not because I’m trying to be like that, after GOd touched me, I’m just naturally like that. A week ago i was still doing Lbsc. I came home and a perfectly respectable guy asked me, what did you do today? That specific day we went up the mountain to go cast out spiritual authorities, the Venus god, the Khoi San gods, sea gods, dragon gods, we repented for the sins of our ancestors for worshipping other gods, we declared that God is God alone over the land. I see in the spiritual realm, and that can even get overwhelming for the christians. How do I explain to him that in a sentence with words?  I’m actually smiling as I’m typing this article, it is just so funny in a serious way. Nonetheless, I told him exactly what we did, and it’s safe to say he won’t be asking me anymore about my days.

And yet,  there are those people that would accept even the ‘crazy christian’ . (But that’s a story for another article)

My conclusion on this whole subject is, I’m going to have to marry an alien or remain like Paul. (I’m joking)

Tomorrow morning I’ll walk to the shop to buy bread at aunt TinA’s cafe where she’ll give me a carrot for free ‘because I need to eat my veggies, on my way back I’ll stop by uncle Koosie,  to get the latest rugby scores and help him cut his hair, on my way back I’ll probably run into the town drunk, who always confesses his love to me, and swear by the 50cents I gave him, that if I said yes – he would marry me.

What more can a girl ask for? … judging by this article, a lot more. 🙂



33 thoughts on “How difficult is it to find a person to marry?

  1. Hello very interesting indeed. I know the feeling Lol the people make fun of me all the time. Finding her will be extremely difficult due to so many different Christian types. Even though I say she simply just needs to love God I know that it doesn’t mean she is meant for me. So seeing it’s so difficult let’s leave it to God he knows best.


  2. Believe it or not I read this whole article,coz I was interested haha in finding out what you have to say. Very good understanding points you’ve made there. Why is it so hard to find a girl that is into spiritual warfare,soakings,crazy bad-ass meetings with Jesus? Man,if only my people would understand that I just want those in a girl hahahah oh and she must be good looking 🙂


  3. I know your pain. Though I am not young and looking for a guy, I see all that out there. It’s very difficult to find a person who is a real Christian, and a person of character. My advice is don’t look for him. Let God bring him to you! Bless you.


    • I say don’t limit the playing field to Christians. You don’t have to be (although many Christians are trilyun spiritual) Christian to be a morally uptight, spiritual person. As long as the man terbatas Everyone else as he would have them treat him, and you have a special chemistry, That is what matters. Good luck.


      • Please forgive my typos. My phone spelling software doesn’t always know what it is dating. Uptight should be” upright” and terbatas s/b” treats”. And there is 1 more minor error. Sorry, your beauty and purity must have distracted my phone too😃.


  4. For a different perspective:

    I’m not Christian. I’m 29 and I’m unmarried. I’m Buddhist, and yet, I have wanted to be a husband my entire life.

    I have met many loves of my life, women I wanted to marry. Each of them was hurt, damaged, scared. None of them were ready.

    Each time, I wasn’t so much angry (though I’d be lying if I didn’t say thinking about it made me a little angry) as hurt.

    But I have come to realize, God (and I do believe in God even if I suspect our ideas of what that God is probably differ) has a “plan”. This great cosmic system has an order to it, and while that may not always be ideal for us, it is not haphazard.

    Each one of those people I met, as hard as it may have been loving people in pain, prepared me for the person I wanted to be. And I realized that if God had come to me when I was 21 and said, “You will spend eight years without being married, eight years with love that hurts, to prepare you to be a better knight”, I would have said yes in a heartbeat.

    I suspect that if you’re not married now it’s because of a choice you’re making. And it’s probably a good one, made with all the right faith with a good heart.

    When it’s supposed to happen, I believe it will.


  5. Yes, I understand the problem too! It’s even more unusual to be a “crazy Christian” here in the UK. I’ve been encourage how God has provided the perfect partner for a couple of folks I knew who’d almost given up. One was an 85 year old Chinese widower and the other a 30 something year old radical Christian in a non Christian country (her hubby is a perfect fit!) You are young and very beautiful I think Jesus will find it much easier to find you a fine man.


  6. This is so true! I’m just 21 and I’m starting to hear the whispers of when will I’ll get married and to who, as if i’m old or my biological clock it ticking away. Another thing, in church it has become a trend to get married when you’re too young and don’t have a life plan for yourself let along anyone else! I rather marry at 30 but be absolutely sure of what I’m getting myself into and have the right person next to me!

    Btw thanks for the follow your blog is fantastic!


  7. Hahaha! I love it. I’ve been called called many things similar to crazy. Wild, good chaotic, Duracell, feferocious, all this as I go about my gentle way, lol. But he found me eventually. He agrees with those words, but I rather think he’s enjoying it.
    Meanwhile, your town sounds like where I want to live again 🙂 Where is that?


  8. Chantal, you are a lovely person inside and out. I can tell you as an old married lady of almost thirty-seven it is terribly easy to find the wrong husband-I did this at nineteen. He proclaimed Christ, sought youth ministry, then walked away from me, our two small boys and our unborn daughter to have family number two. Then, came, lots more wrong guys, wrong situations…then, God plucked me up from my lowest point, just as I was ready to cancel my membership, and let me stumble on my second husband’s profile. In our imperfections, we quickly found we are perfect for each other. Long story short, God is forever looking out for us in such incredible ways we only see the half of. Stay grounded in Him and He is sure to show you the right one at the right time. Blessings!


  9. Interesting Chantal! for starters you have the village drunk professing his love for you…lol (JUST JOKING).
    I understand the pressure you are under, being an African my self. but it’s ironic though, 10 years ago they said i was too young to marry at 22 and at 24 they are giving you the ‘talk’. believe me, i know the pain associated with ‘the talk’ and how you’ll play nice even when you want to scream – because as Africans we are taught to respect our elders.

    Looking for a husband… i think you should look within your church folks, people with like minded, that are as radical as u are.
    When it comes to marriage u really don’t want to rush, u don’t want to ‘jump in and jump out’. moreover u want to be married to someone that’s your best friend, because at the long run that’s what wins.
    Any way you still have sometime, there’s no rush.


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