Last night a South African guy asked me ‘Why did you marry your husband? Is it because he is white or because he’s from Europe?
Like those were my only two options.
I simply told him I was looking for a few things in a man
I didn’t want a normal church boy.
I wanted a guy that has searched out God and discovered God for himself. Someone that’s not afraid of going against what normal good-meaning church folk says.
I did a school of biblical studies.
I didn’t want someone who would quote the Bible back to me.
I wanted someone who has gone through life and has seen the reality.
Sometimes you pray and God doesn’t answer. What does that say about God? What does that say about you? Are we God because Jesus said in Psalm 82
‘Don’t you know that you are gods?’
Or are we simply human because God said in Isaiah 45:5
‘I am the Lord your God there is no one besides me.’
I wanted someone who was past that phase of being popular on social media. Who was not driven by likes and comments. Who realized that social media does not define his worth or mine.
But also realize that there’s much power in social media. I’m a blogger, and for the longest time, I got paid that way.
Someone that understood the line between social media and reality.
Yes, I look good in pictures. Anyone can take a picture of themselves on the day they look good.
But what about when I wake up in the morning with messy hair and stink breath?
What if I get pregnant and get fatter after the baby is born?
What if I wake up in the morning hating myself?
Would he still see the beauty in me and remind myself when I can’t remember who I am? Or was it all about my looks and my body?
I didn’t care about what the person would wear, but if he happens to wear expensive clothes, does that define him?
Does money, cars, iPhones define him? And if we couldn’t afford it anymore? Would he still have the confidence in knowing I love him just the same?
I was looking for a person I could build a life with. And those were questions I asked myself.
Who am I? Am I willing to love him the same and be that person for that man?
And of course, stuff like loyalty, staying when it’s easier to leave, etc.
So, those were the things I was looking for in a husband. And I held myself to that standard, can I be that type of woman?
Many people don’t know Marcel pursued me for 5months. And many days I didn’t respond.
People told him she is playing with your emotions, give up.
But he knew he wanted me and he never stopped pursuing me. Even after we started a relationship, the first time he kissed me was after he asked me to marry me.
He showed me there is more to me than the body and physical beauty. Our conversations lasted for hours and our laughter for days.
So, when he asked to marry me, I said yes. Not because he is white or Europen.
His blue eyes, dark blond hair and Dutch language are mind-blowingly- orgasmic fricken awesome, but there’s so much more to my husband than I could ever tell on any social media or to anyone.
If you missed part one, click here