Things I lie about


People often ask me ‘It must be nice traveling across the world so often.’ I see my friends get excited when I pack my bags, getting ready to climb the next flight. And I smile and say ‘Yeah, I’m so privileged. It’s very nice.’

Because traveling is supposed to be nice. Right? New cities, new faces, beaches, and faces?

I hate it. There I said it.

You will not believe where I am typing this blog post. No, not cuddled up in bed with my husband. I took 1hour drive to the airport, 14hours on the plane and one hour to a town= 16hours away from my husband. On the other side of the planet.


Yes, I know only three weeks ago, I went back to The Netherlands. And here I am on the next plane again. I’ve meant for this blog to feature more fashion and lifestyle but it has turned into a travel blog. Not on purpose.

The universe has a funny way of doing things. I’m the only one in my family that I know that really hates traveling, local or international, but I travel more than everyone.

I have anxiety about traveling, my life lately has been one big traumatic event and I’m smiling in all the pictures. There’s something disturbing about that.

If you are new to my blog, you might wonder if I have a job that requires me to travel. No, I don’t. Then why do I travel?

I use to travel for missionary work. I’ll almost never do that again. I’m still raw about it, but when I’ve gotten a hold on my emotions I’ll write a blog post about why after 4years I’m out of missionary for good.

Then I traveled for studies, like the writing school in Switzerland etc.

For holidays.

For love. My then boyfriend, which became my fiance and now my husband, is from The Netherlands. He’s a traveler himself. I was with him in Italy and we traveled a while. Now we settled in The Netherlands. (Where he’s from)

I’m often asked about my travels and I flat out lie because people expect it to be brilliant. I don’t want to be morbid about it. I’m an introvert and traveling is so excruciating for me.

So here’s things I lie about when asked about my travels. And no I’m not going to put out a disclaimer such as ‘I know I’m lucky to travel blah blah but I’m not ungrateful blah blah blah’

I’m super-ungrateful.

Let me take you on my journeys.

Applying for visa’s

I hate applying for visa’s (foreign countries) The documents you have to collect. Who made the world? The different governments of different countries who now requires us to enter space with a document.


I’ve come to a point where the only constant thing in my suitcase is my hair curler and clean underwear.

When my journey of traveling started in 2012 I use to do research on the country. What’s the weather like? What food do they eat? What type of shops do they have? Then pack accordingly. Now I just throw in a tank top, long sleeved sweater, jacket, and black leggings. A pair of boots and a pair of sandals. Everything black of course. Whatever I need I’ll get where I’m going or live without it.

I’ve learned there are many things one can live without, without dying, and live quite comfortably.

Arriving at the airplane.

There’s wisdom in arriving 3hours before the time for international flights. You never know how long you will wait in line to get searched or scanned. Like David Icke said ‘They either molested you or put rays in your body.’

Check-in- I check in online. Everything I can do online, I do it. Print boarding pass, print ticket etc. If I could fly online, I would.


you go through security, you have to take out your electronic devices out of your bag, and put it in those baskets to be scanned. You have to take off your jacket, shoes, put makeup in those tiny small plastic bags, throw away any liquids. Even if you just bought your Coca-Cola or water.


Passport control. Where you go again, just to wait in line and get a stamp.

Finally, look for your boarding gate. And wait until boarding time.

On the plane

When people ask me ‘How does it feel to fly on a plane?’ I say ‘It’s amazing’ but actually it’s it feels like sitting in a car that goes really fast, so fast that you forget that you are in the car and it’s moving. The times the wind pushes against the plane, is the only times I feel excited in the plane.

If you are an economic flyer, like me, I don’t mind the small seats and some days I don’t mind strangers but siting in a chair for 14hours straight. That’s the point that breaks me.

No, there I go, lying again.

The point that breaks me is CONNECTING FLIGHTS

I hate it.

The airport I hate the most for connection flights?

PARIS CHARLES DE GAULLE AIRPORT. I’m not even going to type anything because I might throw this laptop throw the window thinking about it.

The plane lands. You have to unbuckle your seat belt. Wait for your turn to get out. Get out. Go through passport control again, figure out where to find your luggage. And sometimes they lose it. Like Mine now at this moment. They’ve lost it. But I’m getting it back tomorrow.

But then…

You walk through the door.You see your husband’s eyes tear up. You are home. Everything was worth it.

I’ll do it all over again. One anxiety attack at a time.


It’s in the little things

Sometimes when you are looking forward to something it’s easier to only focus on that future moment that the present loose its value.

In my case, I’m looking forward to seeing my husband. And with this ‘holiday’ here, all I can think about is when it’s over so that I can go back to my husband.

I’m guilty of sometimes sleeping the whole day and the entire night just to pass by time.

And when I wake up there’s still so many days left.

Tonight I got into bed and it’s very warm here. I put on the fan and a cool breeze drifted over my body. It felt heavenly. I marinated in that feeling.

Then my cat Thomas jumped on the bed and joined me under the cool breeze. He fell asleep purr purring. I felt less alone ❤

My body became really relaxed and it felt good breathing. Weird but true. Deep breaths.

Between breathing and enjoying the moment, I realised this moment is all I have. A day is made up of little moments.


Twenties life lessons

 I’ve been staying in a B&B (Bed and breakfast) for over a month now in South Africa. As you know, I’m awaiting my mvv to go back to The Netherlands.
 I miss my husband terribly, but what’s to do right? What’s one month or 2 months without each other compared to our lifetime ahead? (When I receive my mvv)
 The place that I’m staying is comfortable, and so I like it. The lady is very affectionate and all the pleasant words you can imagine. She’s become some distant mother to me, just how I like my people-distant but there.
The place that I’m staying is comfortable, and so I like it. The lady is very affectionate and all the pleasant words you can imagine. She’s become some distant mother to me, just how I like my people-distant but there.
 So today I went out to town, and when I came back, she told me she went inside my room to close the windows because the wind is impregnable.
 A horror came over me.
 My room is a mess. And what I mean by a mess it’s something like a tornado, and Lady Gaga had a baby.
 I look on one of the beds; I left my lace skirt that I wore yesterday on top of the pile of blankets. I think I see the cord of my headphones in there somewhere.
 On the other side of the room, I see an empty plate, my camera, and deodorant all in one place. Sigh.
 How embarrassing.
 I said to myself  ‘oh, well.’
 I poured me some Aloe vera juice and got into my bed.
But what’s this feeling inside me?
 Some burning sadness?
 But why?
 Ah, I see. My room is decent every day and today out of all the days she had to see the chamber.
 I’m a Virgo, and we tend to associate our work or living space with our being. Which is ridiculous.
 I’m literally sad because the impression of my room gave a negative impression of me as a human being.
 Why do I have such a big objection to that? Why can’t I just be a ‘piece of ish?’ I think it’s the way I grew up and the expectations that were set and sometimes met with disappointment.
 After internal searching, I believe that it causes in today’s world we hide things with filters and only post the best part of ourselves on social media. So when people see the other part of you- the less perfect if I may, then it leaves us feeling some way.
 It reminds me of say whenever you go out; you look quite decent. You comb your hair, brush your teeth, etc. Now you are acceptable by social standards.But what if one day, someone comes to visit unexpectedly. Say for instance a crush of yours and sees you; bad breath, dirty clothes, one shock has a whole in it, etc.
 No Instagram filters.
 I’ll leave you with that visual.
 Today reminds me of this quote ‘Many of us will spend our entire lives trying to slog through the shame swampland to get to a place where we can give us permission to both be imperfect and to believe we are enough.’ -Brene Brown
 I give myself permission to be imperfect in much more ways than my stupid room.
 I swear my mid-twenties is for learning to accept I’m not an Instagram version of myself. 😉

Plastic surgery, Photoshop or makeup?

My friend asked me ‘Gun to my head, what would I choose? Plastic surgery or being photoshopped?

I had to put my drink down for that. Quite intriguing

I told her ‘I’ll pull my gun out too.’

‘No man Chantal, just play along.’

‘Oraaait, oraait.’

Lemme see. If I did plastic surgery, what would I get? More lips, bigger boobs? Nah. Not convincing enough. Maybe body sculpting?

‘What’s that’ she asked.

‘ I think it’s what it says. The surgeon sculpts your body to what you want.’

‘Woah, you went from not wanting to do anything to doing your whole body, that escalated quickly.’

She was laughing, and I thought to myself ‘My gosh she is a beautiful creature. With that freckles, the lil afro and those piercing eyes.’

‘What would you get if you had plastic surgery? I ask her.

She said ‘I’ll get my nose done and my teeth. Oh and also my arms.’

I nodded then said;

‘Wait, I’ll get my hair done. Does that count? Like putting in hair in my head, but like it’s from the root. Not like extensions where it comes out again.

‘It’s called hair transplant. They normally do it for men that are going bald. How long would you get it? She said

‘The length that my hair is now’I said

Then why get the hair transplant at all? She asked me.

Well, I didn’t ask you why you want to get plastic surgery on your arms.

We both laughed.

Okay, now if I had to choose Photoshop. What will I want to be photoshopped?

Well, on my body in a bikini. Bang pow pow!

Angela just touched her hair. You cannot do your whole body. We need to put a budget to this game. From now on the photoshop gods gives us 1000euros and you can change two things in photoshop.

‘I’ll make my boobs a bit smaller. Wait no, I want to do that with the plastic surgeon. Cause that will last right and Photoshop is just on a picture?

Why would you make your boobs smaller? She asked.

Well, when you look at my boobs it can cause some envy like ‘wow, look at those.’ But the reality is, back pain, boob sweat extreme, having to choose what outfit your wear carefully because small boobed women can wear a tank top and look fine but let me put it on then it looks overly sexualized.

‘It’s no big deal’ my friend said.

‘Nah trust me. If you are in my shoes, you’ll understand. I’m not saying I’ll make my DD go to A but maybe a C?

The conversation went on in another direction of how women are being a portraited in the media, and we never finished the gun to my head game.

But that conversation stayed with me.

If in actual fact I can have all the surgery I want, would I get it? I think perhaps not right now. Cause right now I’m happy and fine. I’ve done a lot of inner work and loving myself things for 2years. I accept myself.

But in the future? Who knows? Like when I have children and after that? Perhaps have that vagina surgery? That tightens? Or if I get droopy boobs, perhaps lift it a little bit up?

I have no problem with anyone doing any surgery. Let people have things. Let them be happy. It’s their money. Their confidence.

But for me, it’s a no at this time. Speak to me in 6year and maybe I’ll have a different answer.

The closet thing to plastic surgery I have no is makeup.  So I went and glowed myself up. 😉







Sidenote: Gun to your head, what would you change?

Zonneweelde Geusthouse review

The past 2months my husband and I set foot on beautiful soil. South Africa, Doha, Italy, Belguim and The Netherlands.

We’ve been in many guesthouses, and I thought I’ll take some pictures and do reviews on the guesthouses. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up there sometime.

Zonneweelde is a guesthouse in South Africa. The Western Cape in Worcester.

It’s a huge house, seems somewhat Victorian on the outside but modern on the inside.

We were greeted by a worker who had been working there for years. She explained to me that the previous owners of the guesthouse sold it to these new owners and she stayed on.

We were one of the first guests in the hotel since the new owners.

She was polite. We are used to just paying for our stay, but at this hotel, they needed also your ID or passport for copies.

We gave her our passports.


The room was homely. I liked it. My husband would go so far as saying he loved it.

Something that’s important for both my husband and me was a good mattress. Nothing messes with our sleep 🙂 And the bed was comfortable. The sheets were clean.  There were mini couches in the room as well.

Altogether the room was tidy and beautiful.



It’s actually a part of the chamber. In the corner, they created a kitchen area. It consists of a bar fridge, microwave, and a kettle. We were welcomed in our room with coffee/tea/milk and cookies.  There were also two teaspoons.

I do not have pictures of this because we ate the cookies and drank the liquids before I realized I wanted to do a review on the place.


The bathroom was improvident. It had a stand alone bath. On one side of the bathroom was a massaging couch. There was a comfortable chair, a handbasin with a mirror and a toilet. Threw the window we had a view of the backyard and the swimming pool.




The balcony is quite big. It has couches and chairs outside with a smoking tray. The view is the street.







Zonneweelde is located right in the midst of the town. Food stores, markets, clothing stores, etc. was in walking distance.


Zonneweelde is on the safe side of town, but still be vigilant when you go for walks. Walking at night is not an option in my experience.


If you want to experience the culture of South Africa, then Worcester is a great place to start. They have black, white, brown, yellow, green, blue all types of races in one town. And if you are familiar with South Africa’s history, you will be fascinated by experiencing it first hand.


Zonneweelde serves breakfast. It’s a beautiful area where you can eat. However, being South African myself, I saw the breakfast, and it was typically South African oats. Which I had enough of growing up. Every single day so I told my husband I’d rather opt out. He, being Dutch loved it. You can have breakfast for an extra price, depending on what you choose.



It was R400/28euro/30us dollar for one person per night.

So for two people, it was R800 / 57 euro/ 61 us dollars.


Cash, VISA and Mastercard (There’s an ATM around the corner)


I liked it well. My husband loved it, especially the balcony. Was it worth the money? Uhm, yes and no. If you are just looking for a place to crash, then I’d suggest a cheaper place. There’s actually much more affordable places. I’ll review them later.

But if you are looking for a cultural experience then Zonneweelde will give you your money’s worth. Not at the place where you sleep but traveling around town. Everything is really close by.

Zonneweelde is a clean, luxurious place.

Let me know what you think about it when you happen to travel there.

Here are some pictures from a booking website.